does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize