is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize