weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
