well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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