so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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