you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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