Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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