Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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