Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
