remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
