no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
there's paper in my vomit.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
