garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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