didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
