I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize