He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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