so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
