hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
