I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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