I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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