Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
