I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
