Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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