That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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