I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
