just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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