there's paper in my vomit.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
