White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
