I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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