IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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