I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
