The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't turn off my feet"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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