I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
