you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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