There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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