Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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