what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
