singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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