I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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