This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
