he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
