PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I had to cum in my sink.
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