addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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