we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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