just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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