I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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