3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
After tacos, we're chasing women.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
