He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
