I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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