The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
