My nipple is on Facebook.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
