I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
