He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
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Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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