But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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