you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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