i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
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I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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