You surviving the open bar?
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So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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