pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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