I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize