me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
