She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
