Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
