Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
