haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
