fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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