I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I got inside last night via doggy door
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize