that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize