Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
