ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
